Maid of Honor

"I'm so happy for you!" I pull Tanya close and wrap my arms around her in a convincing hug.

"Are you sure? It's not too much?"

I shake my head. "You're my best friend, right? I should be standing next to you when you get married."

"It won't be weird? With Kenneth and everything?" I wish she hadn't brought up Kenneth. I want this to just be about Tanya and me. This is something I'm doing for her and me, not for him.

"It'll be your special day. And it'll be great. In fact, I can help make it great. Make it your dream wedding. I can help you keep the press and paparazzi away."

Tanya's face wrinkles. "How can you do that? They are all over this story. Our story."

She's right, of course. I've gotten over a hundred phone calls over the last week. I finally turned off my phone and tucked it in a drawer until this whole thing moves out of the public eye. "My dad has a boat. I know how to sail it. What do you think about a wedding at sea?"

There is a long moment of silent thought. "It sounds good to me, peaceful. I'm not sure if Kenneth will go for it, though."

"You can convince him," I say. "You can convince Kenneth of anything."

I'm right. Convincing Kenneth has never been an issue for Tanya. This wedding is no different. Flash forward two days and Tanya has managed to convince Kenneth to give her exactly the wedding she wants, regardless of the promises Kenneth made to other people.

This is how we all end up on Daddy's boat. I shouldn't call it a boat. It's a sailing vessel. A yacht. Huge. White. Shiny, new, and ostentatious.

Tanya is beyond impressed. "I get to get married on this?" she squeals when she steps onto the dock.

"Yep. This is where you and Kenneth get to make your forever vows."

"Oh, my God." Tanya looks pale, as if this is all a bit too much for her. "Is Kenneth here?"

"He's below decks."

Tanya moves toward the ramp, but I put out a hand to stop her.

"You can't go see him. It's bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding. You can't see each other until you walk down the aisle."

"Okay. I guess. When will that be?"

Tanya really did let me plan everything. She has no idea what's happening here. "Dusk. The water is beautiful at sunset. It'll be perfect."

Tanya squeals again. I smile and lead her on board. Tanya stops when she sees the heavy red velvet curtain blocking off part of the boat. "What's that?"

"That's were the ceremony will take place." I paste yet another smile on my face, but I don't think Tanya sees it. She's too caught up in the curtain and what is waiting behind it.

Her hand falls onto my arm. "Thank you so much, Mary. I can't believe you did all of this for me. For us, Kenneth and I. It means a lot to have you here supporting us."

I can't say anything to that. So I smile again and lead Tanya to her room.

"The food smells delicious, by the way. Who did you hire?" Tanya asks.

"No one. I did it myself."

"God, Mary, that's a lot of work."

"Not really. It's a tiny wedding, remember? No more work than cooking dinner for a couple of friends."

"True. But still..." Tanya trails off as we reach the door to her room. "Is my dress here?" she asks as I turn the handle to let her in.

"It's waiting inside. I hope you like it." Really. She let me pick the dress, even. I could have brought a brown paper bag and she wouldn't know. I didn't, though. But I also didn't bring the sparkling white gown she might be imagining. I think what I picked for her is so much better.

Tanya steps into the room, her face glowing in anticipation. I follow behind her and close the door. She stops a few feet into the room, frozen by the sight of her dress.

"It will look amazing on you. It will make the ceremony perfect," I say when Tanya remains speechless.

"Are those.... flames?" she asks.

I nod, then realize she can't see my head move, she is still staring at the dress. A yellow so pale it is almost white. Flashes of bold orange and red flames leaping up from the trailing hem. I move in front of Tanya and lift the dress from its hanger. "Try it on. Let's see how it fits."

"I'm not sure about this," she says. "I always thought I'd be married in pure white."

I want to tell her if she really cared about the dress, she would have been involved in picking it out, but I don't. Instead I say, "Trust me. Just try it. Besides, only like four people are going to see it. If you don't like it, don't release pictures."

Tanya stares at me for a minute, then caves and begins to shimmy out of her pencil skirt and into the flaming gown.

I zip up the back for her and look over her shoulder into the mirror. "See. Perfect."

"What is Kenneth wearing?" Tanya asks.

"Don't worry," I reply. "You'll match."

I leave her in her room to finish some final details. Tanya doesn't hear the sound of the lock clicking into place as I step out of her room. I can't have her wandering the boat, finding Kenneth before it's time.

It takes longer than I expect to get everything and everyone into place. Kenneth puts up a bit of a fight, but I manage to make him stay in place at the impromptu altar and wait for Tanya to come to him. I worry that Tanya might have gotten antsy, tried the door and realized it was locked. But apparently she was so entranced my her image in the mirror that she didn't notice how much time had passed.

"Already?" is her replay when I open the door and say "Let's go."

She's fidgety until she gets to the door and hears the music playing. "Pachelbel's canon. My favorite," she says and calms instantly.

"I know," I say. "You told me." She told me everything, all her likes, all her dislikes. She let me into every single one of her thoughts, as if I was her personal confidante instead of her competitor. Maybe that's why she won in the end. She assumed from the very beginning that it would be her standing next to Kenneth at the show finale. I never had that confidence, that assumption, that he'd pick me. I always thought I had to earn it. Earn him. And I failed.

I stop in front of the curtain. Tanya is frozen beside me.

"I don't know if I can do this."

Months of her fighting to win. Fighting to win Kenneth. And now she has cold feet. I wish I could say it surprised me. But I always questioned whether Tanya really felt anything for Kenneth or just wanted to win. Now I know. It was never about Kenneth. Tanya just wanted to beat everyone else. Including me. She doesn't really love him like I do.

I sigh. "You won, Tanya. This is your prize. You and Kenneth together forever. There are twenty-three girls who wanted to be here now, right where you are. Including me. But Kenneth chose you." I give her a smile, hoping she doesn't look past my mouth, hoping she doesn't look to my eyes.

"Go ahead," I nudge, both with my words and my hand on her arm.

Tanya reaches out a hand and clasps the edge of the curtain. She turns to look at me again. "I'm sorry you didn't win. A little. Not because I don't love Kenneth, I do. I just think you deserve to win, too. There should be a prize for the other girl left in the final show. Like a clone or a little brother, or something." Tanya laughs.

I do get a prize. One I made for myself.

Tanya pulls open the curtain. Kenneth waits for her on the other side, where I left him. Seated on the edge of the altar, his suit in tatters draped over his charred flesh. Tanya pulls in air for a scream as I clamp my hand with the soaked rag over her face.

I was never willing to be the runner-up.
                                                                                                                                    

Cliches, Tropes, and my June Reads

I finished 16 books in the month of June:

The First Days of School by Harry K Wong and Rosemary T Wong
Rust & Stardust by T. Greenwood (ARC)
Fancies and Goodnights by John Collier
The Banker’s Wife by Cristina Alger (ARC)
What Every Teacher Should Know About Instructional Planning by Donna Walker Tileston
The Mark of Athena by Rick Riordan (reread)
Designing Responsive Curriculum by Nancy Frey, Douglas Fisher, and Kelly Moore
Queen of Shadows by Sarah J. Maas
Tools for Teaching by Fred Jones
The Confessions of Max Tivoli by Andrew Sean Greer
One of Us is Lying by Karen M. McManus
The Night of the Hunter by Davis Grubb
The Devil’s Half Mile by Paddy Hirsch (ARC)
The Killer Inside Me by Jim Thompson
Teaching Boys Who Struggle in School by Kathleen Palmer Cleveland
Bring Me Back by B.A. Paris (ARC)


You can find reviews of this months ARCs on GoodReads. Click the links below to go there!
Rust & Stardust https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/2407568536
The Banker’s Wife https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/2414141516
The Devil’s Half Mile https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/2435206506
Bring Me Back https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/2438727937

I’ve actually had time to write this month. Yippee! In addition to writing, I’ve been chewing a lot on writing practices- how to improve, what to avoid, etc. There’s a ton of advice out there, some of it better than others. I know that all advice (not just writing) should be taken with a grain of salt- what works for one person may be the worst thing another person can do.

Some of the advice out there seems very solid. Don’t start a book with your character waking up. Don’t have your character look into a mirror and describe themselves. Don’t start a book with dialogue. There’s solid rationale for all of these bits of advice.

Sidenote: The first novel I wrote started with a character waking up, then moving to the bathroom where she looked in a mirror to describe herself. This book did not get me an agent. Interpret for yourself.

Despite the solid rationale for these bits of advice, though, there are amazing (and successful) books out there that do those things we are warned not to do. There is indeed an exception to every “rule” of writing.

What I want to look at here are cliches and tropes. Cliches are those overused phrases that make you cringe when you hear them or read them. They are so overused that they have lost their power.

But here’s the thing. They became so common, so overused, because they resonated with a common truth. People heard those phrases and the phrases spoke to them. The phrases echoed in their minds and hearts, carrying more meaning and relevance than a simple stream of words. These phrases that are now seen as weak writing were once powerful.

And you can still use them successfully. You can bring back the power. The trick is finding a new overtone, a new echo.

Here’s an example. When I was in grad school (for Cell and Molecular Biology) I took a creative science writing class. The class was a mix of MFA and MS/PhD students, but was skewed heavily to MFA candidates. One of our early assignments was to write a poem. About science.

The class was relatively small, so once we had our poems written, we workshopped them. Each of us brought copies for the class, read our work aloud, and then received feedback. I was terrified. While I had always enjoyed writing, this was the first time I had ever put myself in a position to receive feedback. And I felt inferior. This was not my turf.

One of the “actual writers” read her poem. One of the primary critiques she received from our instructors (both published writers) was the use of cliches in her work. She was told she needed to find a fresh way to say what she wanted to say, not re-use these stock phrases.

I looked down at my own poem. Which contained the phrase “it was love at first sight.” I wanted to get up, find a shredder, and never return. But I’m not one to make a scene, so I stayed in my chair, sweating, hoping that we’d run out of time and not get to my poem.

I did not get what I hoped for. Instead, I was asked to read next. I already knew what critique was coming, so I just pushed through. And I was surprised. While there was some criticism of my poem, the use of the cliche was applauded, pointed out a strength of the work.

What?

People liked the use of this cliche in this poem because it was the last thing they expected to see there. It was a poem describing the infection of a human cell by a bacteria, and the eventual murder of that cell. No one expected a reference to love. Putting an overused phrases into a context where it doesn’t belong and yet makes perfect sense can bring it back to life.

Tropes have a similar bad reputation, though they are far more difficult to avoid. Tropes are the story elements that have been so much that they feel stale. Tropes can include everything from stereotypical characters (such as the gay best friend) to entire plot lines (good girl falls for bad boy).

Just like a cliche, a trope can make for good writing, if you find a fresh way to use it. For a good example of well-used tropes, check out One of Us is Lying! This novel is built on tropes, but has added a depth and richness that makes the story super satisfying.

My advice to you: Go forth and use all of the cliches, and trope up your story. Take us to a place that we find familiar and comfortable, then force us to look around the corner, see what is hiding beneath. Turn that cliche or trope into something new, something that makes us see the story and language in a way we haven’t before.